DISCLAIMER: Since I am a guy I am writing this from a perspective of a guy only. The things I am about to say would apply to all the genders. I am just saving the time to write “He/She” everywhere.
What does one want from his love life
No matter how people think and perceive what a relationship is, it all boils down to only one thing i.e.“Fun”. Yes, having fun is what we really need and want from a relationship. Cheating is also fun, trust me. If it was not, why would your girlfriend even bother? When you are not able to satisfy her and have fun with her, she will look for it somewhere else.
LOVE IS NOT A SERIOUS BUSINESS TO BE DISCUSSED ALL THE TIME. IT IS PLAYFUL and FUN..
For example: If a girl is given a choice between a guy who is all about perfection, obedient, wealthy, hardworking but does not flirt with her, does not court her or date her, does not share sexy banter with her, does not tease her, she may respect him but would never truly understand what “Falling in love” really means.
She would always fall for a guy who is fun, ambitious and inspiring (Even though he is not that wealthy) and Acts like a Man. She does not want a perfect guy, she just want someone who knows how to be a Man.
Marrying someone and falling in love are two different scenarios. She can marry you for money, stability and security in life, nothing wrong in it but you cannot buy her heart with your money.
What does cheating mean?
Is it just when she sleeps with someone else or is it something broader? Cheating is not an act but a process. And this process involves a lot of things which we need to consider. Thinking about someone else, talking to someone who she knows is romantically interested in her, using tinder while you are in a relationship, it’s all an indicative of what type of woman are you dealing with. It’s the “mentality” of woman you really need to look rather than her specific action of going on a date or sleeping with a guy.
For example: If there is a guy who has the hots for a committed girl. That girl is well aware of his romantic interest but yet she does not maintain distance and lets him flirt with her and chit chats with him, even just over whatsapp and do not tell her boyfriend about him and delete all the messages. This definitely tells a lot about her mentality that she is a liar and communication in a relationship means nothing to her.
Even though she may not be that much into that other guy but if that guy starts acting like a man, it would be just a matter of time that she may go out with him to believing that going out for a coffee date is somehow okay.
“A good woman would always communicate with you and tell you about these petty things if she really respects you and the relationship”
Whose fault is it?
No one would say or do anything to you which you don’t allow them to repeat.
It’s a man’s job to understand what his lady feels for him emotionally and where does she stand with him. She needs to feel safe and comfortable with him. She will feel safe, when he is acting like a man. When that is not the case, she is going to find someone else. So is it a guy’s fault that she is cheating on you? A part of it is true.
Example 1: Your girlfriend cheats on you with some other guy. You cry, say harsh things to her and breakup with her. She cries and wants to get together again. After 1 month you take her back because you feel like shit and she is fucking hot.
Now there can be two things:
1.She cheats on you again.
2.She does not cheat
1) If she cheats on you the second time, it’s not at all her fault. It is 100% on you my friend. You made her believe that cheating is okay with you, by taking her back. You communicated that disrespecting your loyalty is something she can get away with.
2) Even if she does not cheat, you can never be truly happy with her and would always live in fear, worried that she may cheat again.
Think about it, do you really want to be with a devious woman. You are not her emotional therapist that somehow your love is going to cure her fucked up emotions. People don’t really change and even if they do, it’s not your responsibility to put your life on hold for someone like that.
It’s going to hurt you for rest of your life that she cheated on you no matter how rosy or amazing your get-together look like. Cheating and lying is a red flag. You should never ignore it. Once she cheated on you, move on and find someone else.
The only reason that keeps a guy from moving-on is his low self-esteem that he won’t find a hot chick like her.She has perfect tits and perfect ass.
Trust me, there are millions of hot gals out there but what you really want is a good woman with healthy emotions,who has same goals and values as you do, with whom you can grow into a better self together.
Example 2: You had a problem with your eye. It started itching. You went to see the doctor but he was not available. You came back home and applied some ice and the itching stopped. You calmed down and started doing your work again. After a week itching started again and you applied ice but this time it did not work. You went to the doctor and he gave you painkillers. You took it and itching stopped. After a month the itching started again and it keeps on and on until you get yourself seriously checked up to find the problem and permanent cure.
Let’s say, Itching=Cheating and Cure = your self-respect. If she cheats on you and you take her back, you are just temporarily taking pain killers and not actually looking for permanent solutions. How can you, if you don’t know what the problem was .what did you do wrong, how could you have treated her better.
Conclusion:
We people have a habit of justifying everything we want to do even if we know it is wrong. Logic and reason is what we use to justify getting together with a cheater again. My love is going to change her. She is “The one”, the “love of my life”, “My soul-mate” etc. Once you are aware that you are with a lying devious woman, your soul is never going to get satisfied.
Animal instincts are an inseparable part of us but what make us human are our ethics and morals which differentiate us from animals.
Even though partly it’s a guy’s fault that he did not see her dropping interest in him and did not do anything about it but ultimately a good woman would breakup with you first and then move on to someone else.
CHEATING SHOULD BE A HUGE DEAL BREAKER FOR ALL THE GUYS AND GIRLS AND ONLY SOLUTION TO IT IS “CHECK-OUT and MOVING ON”.HOW HARD IT MAY SOUND, IT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN BE TRULY HAPPY AND FIND SOMEONE BETTER..
Rationalising Relationships 